From Yesterday
by Angel K.D
Summary: Oneshot. Songfic. After the trio returns together, Riku has trouble dealing with his past deeds while living in the light.


Author's Note: Oy, I think this might be a record…All of a sudden I'm getting all this inspiration and such. Last night I was up 'til 2:30 writing a Tomb Raider fic, and now I'm writing another one. This time it's a song fic, featuring Riku and one of my favorite songs out there at the moment. It's "From Yesterday" by 30 Seconds to Mars. Seriously it's a good song and you should have a listen. Angst is the only warning here, and a slight mention of a side romance, but if you blink you'll miss it.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Kingdom Hearts. I don't own the characters, the series and it's plot, I own nothing really but this little story.

_From Yesterday_

The sky was painted with gold, red, and orange as sunset settled over the islands. A breeze had come in, and ran through the trees and shrubbery as though it were fingers treading gently through water. Everyone was inside at this time, calling others in from play and getting ready to sit down and eat. Smoke rose from the chimneys and flittered away in the air. It was truly peaceful on Destiny Islands.

Well, for everyone but him. He walked alone in his thoughts, past all the houses and shops, doing his best to ignore the stares and whispering.

After all this time, he'd been right all along. It seemed as though everyone somehow knew of his betrayal of Sora. It seemed every single person was aware of the darkness, and his decision to delve into it. That's why they all looked at him like that.

Now, Riku could handle being talked about. Since their return, the trio of friends that consisted of Riku, Sora, and Kairi were all the people talked about. How remarkable it was that three children had gone missing for two whole years and then suddenly come back, strong and whole with an aura of power and magic that couldn't be fully explained. And while it Kairi they talked of with respect, and Sora they spoke of with gratefulness, they didn't quite seem to know what to say about Riku.

_" He's a stranger to some _

_And a vision to none_

_He can never get enough,_

_Get enough of the one"_

He'd known even before they came home that nothing would be the same again. Sora had this perfect vision that everything would return to the way it was before with a little hope. He was wrong.

At least Kairi had seen it for what it really was. Hopeless. Sure, she did her best to include him in certain activities, but he always went away with the impression that he hadn't been truly wanted. Things had changed too much between them.

It seemed like just yesterday, when they were standing together as one, ready to stop Xemnas and save the worlds. He'd looked over at Kairi, about to tell her something to indicate how he felt. Riku had just wanted to at least smile one last time, to make sure she knew how much he cared for her. But when he saw her pretty eyes focused on Sora, and his friend smiling right back at her, he knew he'd lost her.

_" For a fortune he'd quit_

_But it's hard to admit_

_How it ends and begins_

_On his face is a map of the world"_

He'd been to late to capture her heart, but maybe it was better that way. Surely someone as pure as Sora could love her better than someone as tainted as him, who'd lost his own heart.

_" A map of the world…"_

He needed to be somewhere alone. His island sounded like the ideal spot. He reached the pier in no time and looked over his boat. He still found it hard to believe that Tidus had kept it nice for him for so long, out of respect.

_" On his face is a map of the world _

_A map of the world"_

When he set foot on that sand, the memories came rushing back to him. When Sora had fallen with him into the ocean, and when Kairi had met them. She'd clasped Sora's hand, and given him that beautiful smile of hers. Again his heart, or what remained of it, had ached as he witnessed the bond forming between them-something he couldn't have or be a part of. He hated this island as much as he loved it…

" _From yesterday, it's coming!__  
From yesterday, the fear!  
From yesterday, it calls him  
but he doesn't want to read the message here"_

Riku made his way to the shack and up the stairs, slowly taking each step in contemplative silence. What had he become? He supposed, even without their little universe-wide adventure, those two would've gotten together anyway. He tried to be happy for them too, but it wasn't easy. Maybe that rivalry between him and Sora was the obstacle. If it was though, there was little he could do to fix it.

Since their little reunion, Sora and Kairi hadn't been around much. Especially the brunet who'd saved them all. There was no joking, no horsing around, just nothing. It was almost as if Sora would rather be alone or with Kairi and the others than enduring his presence.

And you could forget about sparring. Who would want to spar with someone who'd once tried to kill them?

_" On a mountain he sits, not of gold but of sin  
through the blood he can learn, see the life that it turn  
from council of one  
He'll decide when he's done with the innocent"_

Making his was across the wooden bridge; Riku recalled the day when he'd teased Sora about trying the paopu fruit. Now he wished he could go back and perhaps share it with him. Not for romance, but just the eternal closeness that if provided. Maybe then he wouldn't be so alone in the present.

_" On his face is a map of the world  
a map of the world  
on his face is a map of the world  
a map of the world"_

That old paopu tree where they used to spend all their evenings before heading home was still there. He remembered their individual spots, and all the conversations that now seemed like whispers in the wind. Hm, maybe it was the nostalgia that caused him to feel that wetness near his eyes…

_"From yesterday, it's coming!  
From yesterday, the fear!  
From yesterday, it calls him  
But he doesn't want to read the message  
He doesn't want to read the message  
Doesn't want to read the message here"_

Riku collapsed to his knees at the base of the tree. Life wasn't as simple as it used to be, and he hugged himself while whispering the truth of the matter-it wasn't going to get any better.

_"On his face is a map of the world"_

A shiver ran down his spine. Was it better to be here and so miserable, or lost in the darkness? It seemed that all his mistakes kept coming back to eat at his soul. Riku needed to know if anyone would miss him if he left.

There was only one way to go. Riku stood, and watched the stars begin to shine in the night sky while the moon lit up the sand and the waves became black. He'd stay here for a while and contemplate his worth here. He'd have his pains and doubts, with no one here to comfort him or tell him it was all going to be okay. Then, in the early morning, Riku would run back home and slip into his house. No one would know he was missing as he had no friends to speak of and his parents rarely cared enough to even look at him.

At school tomorrow he'd be tired, but no one would notice. Riku would just pretend that life was okay and that he wasn't lonely. If he found enough things to occupy his mind in the daytime, his past deeds would only haunt him at night. That was the best that he could do for now, and what choice did he have but to just do his best and hope for the rest to come along in time?

_"From yesterday, it's coming!  
From yesterday, the fear!  
From yesterday, it calls him  
But he doesn't want to read the message here  
From yesterday,  
from yesterday,  
from yesterday, the fear  
from yesterday,  
from yesterday  
But he doesn't want to read the message here  
But he doesn't want to read the message here  
But he doesn't want to read the message here"_

_End_

Well, that's that. Let me know what you think. Poor Riku…I'm so mean to him. But hey, that's life. Lyrics taken from and then put through spell check, so don't get mad if it isn't perfect. Honestly though, this is my first song fic that actually counts, as my other one was abandoned, so please give me all the advice you want. Thanks people!


End file.
